Alright lads, so I’ve been working on this Newcastle vs Espanyol timeline project for weeks now, right? Started when I spotted some dodgy fixture dates floating around Twitter. Pulled out my messy notepad – yeah, the one with coffee stains from last Tuesday’s all-nighter – and just started scribbling everything I could find.
The Research Rabbit Hole
First thing, I rummaged through my old match programs stacked in the garage. Found that 2006 Intertoto Cup clash where we smashed ’em 3-0, but half the pages were stuck together with God-knows-what. Then came the real headache: Spanish sources. Google Translate butchered Espanyol’s archives so bad I thought they’d signed a player called “Electric Toaster” at one point. Wasted three hours before realizing it was just their stadium nickname.
Cross-Checking Chaos
Dove into fan forums next – what a circus. One Geordie bloke swore we played them in ’98, but his “proof” was a blurry photo of Shearer beside what looked like a Spanish waiter. Had to triple-check everything:
- Dusted off my UEFA handbook (2014 edition, spine’s held together by tape)
- Pestered mate Dave who runs that Toon stats blog until he blocked me
- Even rang my aunt’s neighbour who used to steward at SJP – got an earful about 1980s ticketing queues instead
Spreadsheet Nightmares
Figured Excel would solve things. Massive mistake. Coloured cells everywhere like a toddler’s art project. Sorted fixtures by date only to find Espanyol’s entire 2003 squad list where the venue should’ve been. Nearly launched the laptop when I realized I’d typoed “RCD” as “RBC” for two hours straight. Don’t even ask about the pivot tables – let’s just say I had to walk around the block twice.
Final Tweak Tantrums
When I finally slapped the timeline together, my kid spilt Ribena all over the printout. Had to rewrite half the 2007 Europa League entries from memory while the paper was dripping purple. Then the missus asked why I’d listed Alan Pardew as manager for 2019 – apparently he’d been sacked ages before that. Whoops. Last-minute panic editing made the formatting go berserk. Bullet points started indenting themselves like they had a mind of their own.
Honestly, football history’s messier than my garage. But hey – that crumpled, slightly sticky notebook page? That’s your “ultimate guide” right there. Proper grassroots stuff. Might frame the Ribena-stained draft if I ever find time between school runs.
