Getting the Data Ready
Woke up buzzing about last night’s Chelsea game. Grabbed my laptop while sipping coffee. Went straight to the stats websites, punched in “Chelsea vs Bournemouth” like it was life-or-death. Took screenshots of possession percentages and heatmaps cause my wifi’s trash and pages kept timing out.
Fighting with the Charts
Opened spreadsheet software – swore when it started updating for 10 minutes. Tried making possession timeline bars first. Colors looked like vomit. Changed Chelsea to royal blue 5 times before it stopped looking purple. Almost smashed my mouse when the labels kept overlapping.
For key moments, I marked:
- Sterling’s shot hitting post (min 28)
- That offside call against Havertz (min 51)
- James’ red card disaster (min 65)
- Bournemouth’s late goal (min 82)
Dragged those marker icons around like playing whack-a-mole.
Writing Up the Mess
Took 3 attempts to start typing. Deleted sentences like “Chelsea played like Sunday league toddlers” – too biased. Settled on “dominant but toothless” for possession stats. Spilled coffee making that Bournemouth goal sound exciting without crying about it.
The Final Showdown
Spent 20 minutes aligning screenshots with text. Previewed post – possession chart got cropped. Redid it twice. Hit publish thinking “hope my internet doesn’t die now”. Proofread after posting – found 3 typos. Facepalmed hard.
Checked comments later. Some dude arguing about expected goals data. Replied “mate check the heatmap” with crying-laughing emoji. Stats never lie but they sure piss people off.