How This Whole Cup Madness Started
Alright so last Tuesday I was washing dishes after breakfast, right? Saw my crappy old coffee mug with that faded logo again. Thought “man I deserve better – everybody does”. That’s when the lightning struck: what if I make custom champion-style cups? Like actual trophy cups but for daily caffeine fixes.
The Shopping Fiasco
First mistake was going to Walmart without a list. Wandered aisle 7 for thirty dang minutes looking for clay. Found three types:
- Air-dry crap that cracks
- Oven-bake stuff requiring precise temperatures
- Some weird kid’s playdough smelling like strawberries
Grabbed the oven-bake kind along with cheap acrylic paints. Checkout lady gave me that “another doomed DIY project” look. Should’ve listened.
My Great Sculpting Disaster
Tore open the clay pack Thursday night. Followed some YouTube tutorial where this lady made perfect curves with her eyes closed. Mine looked like smashed potatoes. Tried making handles – first one snapped clean off. Second one melted into the cup body like mutated Siamese twins. Said screw it and made handle-less tumblers instead.
The Painting Apocalypse
Waited for clay to harden. Got impatient and painted while slightly damp. Big error. Colors bled everywhere – my gold trophy trim became zombie green puke. Tried fixing with red paint. Now it looked like Christmas threw up. Scraped it off with butter knife while cursing. Repainted solid black next day like a sane person.
Finally Drinking Victory
Took forty-eight hours before I dared use them. Poured coffee yesterday morning expecting leaks or toxic clay flavor. Actual results:
- No leaks (shocking)
- No weird aftertaste (double shocking)
- Hand feels nice and solid
Sipping from something you built hits different. Even my lumpy rejects feel like trophies now. Might make more for friends’ birthdays – though maybe just plain black this time.